Old People Suck Ass

So I went golfing today. Not the best weather for it — overcast and drizzly throughout — but nothing a rough customer like myself couldn’t handle. Old people, however, are another matter.

Take the geezers who were playing ahead of my foursome, which included three very powerful Japanese businessmen. The old timers were slow as molasses, and brushed off all requests to play through.

“Cool your jets, sonny,” said one, waving his 3-iron menacingly. “Goddamn kids today ain’t got no patience!”

“You tell ‘im, Harry,” said another. “We didn’t win dubya-dubya-two just to be talked down to by some Jap-loving tub of lard! Shove off, bozo!”

“Jesus,” I muttered, then turned to the Japanese. “Listen Miyagis, you guys know kung fu, right? Why don’t you bust it out and chase these old bastards out of here? I’m tired of waiting.”

Well, for reasons I don’t understand the Japanese guys took real offense to that, and were on a plane back to Tokyo within an hour. Which further meant I lost a lucrative contract. All ’cause those bluehairs wouldn’t let us play through. Christ, I hate old people.

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Categories: Business, Culture, Idiots, Leisure

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