Good news; Pete’s Poontang Emporium has a new girl, Mandy, who’s amenable to my recently acquired fetish. Needless to say, I’m eager to test her out. Actually, the test drive’s already begun — Mandy’s thumb is currently jammed up my ass, and is in fact the only thing keeping a tidal wave of ExLax-induced diarrhea from forcibly exiting my bowels.

So, if you’ll excuse me, time for this precious flower to earn her paycheck. Don’t wait up.

Categories: Dating, Drugs, Leisure

Tags: Bowel Movements, Dating, Drugs, Leisure