Good god. I’m actually ashamed of myself. Myself and the 20-pound brown baby boy I just dropped off at the pool, if you get my drift. If you don’t, I mean I just took a shit large enough to choke a horse.
Don’t get me wrong — I love a good shit. Moreover, few do it better or with more regularity than yours truly. But some things were never meant to see the light of day. And that monstrosity I just left in the bathroom? It’s one of them.
Double damn. My houseboy, Kang, just walked past the bathroom door and dropped to the ground like a sack of flour. Here’s hoping smelling salts will bring him around, ’cause christ knows I’m not in the mood to answer a lot of stupid questions from Immigration.