He may be the first Republican president in history for whom I wouldn’t take a bullet, but I gotta hand it to Dubya — he knows how to pull the strings. Or at least, he’s just smart enough to let Cheney and Rove pull the strings for him. Take their latest coup: the announcement of Saddam Hussein’s long-awaited death sentence, just two days before our hotly contested mid-term elections.
Frankly, I couldn’t have planned it better myself. Unless they don’t arrange to have Hussein hung tomorrow evening on live national prime time television, which is how I would play it. Ha! Those stupid democrats wouldn’t know what hit them come Tuesday. They’d probably all turn to cannibalism and hard drugs by three o’clock in the afternoon, pissing their pants in shame as we proud Republicans whipped them down Main Street for being the whiny little shits that they are.
Alright, I’m outta here. Me and some of the boys from the office are going to drive through poor neighborhoods, so we can post fliers reminding the residents to come out and vote on Wednesday, November 8. Sure it’s an old trick. We’ll stop using it as soon as it stops A) working and B) pissing off the liberal media. In other words, no time soon.