The astute amongst you — and it should be noted that I have my doubts as to whether any blog readers can claim that quality — will recall that I said my brother Roderick, his family, and my mother were arriving last Wednesday for Thanksgiving. Turns out I had my dates mixed up, as they actually arrived earlier today. Which makes a lot more sense when you think about it.
Either way, they’re here till Saturday. Which means the next three days are going to suck long, and they will suck hard. The only saving grace is that Roderick’s oldest daughter, Tabitha, is developing quite nicely. But get your minds out of the gutter. I don’t want to perform coitus on the lass. I just want to ogle her a bit. No crime in that, friends.
For christ’s sake. Mother just shit herself, spoiling my fine Corinthian leather sofa in the process. When is that woman going to die and stop making my life a living hell? Oh well; time for me to rouse the houseboy. Hell, you don’t expect me to clean it up, do you? After all, I have company to entertain.