You know that supporting child actor from the old Alan Thicke family comedy? Andrew Koenig, I think it is? The one who played Mike Seaver’s bosom buddy and went missing in Vancouver last week?
Well, good news: I found him. It happened a few minutes ago, when Miss Cashtushy walked past my office, dropped something, and had to bend over to pick it up. Next thing you know, bam: Boner.
Wait, dammit — he’s gone again. Slippery little bastard, isn’t he? Oh well, sorry for the false alarm. I’ll be sure to let you know the next time he pops up.
UPDATE: Hmm. As it turns out, this post was in extremely poor taste; Koenig’s body was found this afternoon, according to various reports. It’s a good thing I’m not a real person, or I’d probably feel terrible about it. As it is, I’m off to watch porn while eating an entire Boston Cream Pie. Later.