That pack of commies over at the Pew Research Center has some new poll that’s supposed to gauge how “Millennial” you are. Meaning, how much you have in common with the up-and-coming generation of slackers and dope fiends. I’m rather proud to announce that I scored a 7. Out of 100. The 21st century can kiss my fat ass.
Frankly, it would be rather unseemly for a man of my age, or even 10 years younger, to get anything close to a perfect score. That would be a clear indication that the person also enjoys driving slowly past elementary schools in a van full of cut-rate candy, if you ask me.
Anyhow, the poll asks 14 questions ranging from phone/TV use, politics, religion, and even how willing you are to disfigure your body with tattoos and/or piercings. Feel free to take it, but bear in mind that I don’t care how you do, so please don’t keep me in the loop.