Ever wonder why I love OxyContin so much? You know, besides the unbeatable feeling of complete euphoria it delivers? Easy:
My initials on the front, and — if you get the good ones — the year Reagan was elected on the back. What’s not to love?
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So Anyhow I Think I’ll Mostly Be Doing The Twitter Thing For A While 
I Am In Fact Ready For Some Football 
My Connection Would Be Wise To Heed President Trump’s Latest Directive 
I Don’t Know Any Muslims So This Ban Business Is Fine By Me 