I May Have Just Killed A Homeless Man

Or maybe a woman? There might have been a child with the person as well. I’m also not entirely sure that he, she, or they are actually homeless. It’s hard to say.

Not that it’s my fault. For one thing, it’s been raining cats and dogs all day. Additionally, I mistakenly took Viagra instead of my back pain medication after lunch, which resulted in vision loss due to an erection lasting more than four hours. So there is that to consider.

I’m also not the one who asked this person or persons to walk out into the middle of the street while I was driving the speed limit, or possibly 10 or 20 miles per hour over it. At least, I’m fairly certain it happened in the middle of the street. I might have accidentally jumped a curb before the alleged incident, but don’t remember.

Oh well, no sense worrying about it now — that’s what lawyers are for. I made it home safe and that’s all that really matters. So please, stop wagging your finger and get out of my way; I need to find my butler and have him wipe all this blood off my hood. Good day to you.

Categories: Drugs, Idiots, Legal, Servants, Violence

Tags: , , , , , ,

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