This is certainly unprecedented, and yet there it is: blood is oozing out of what must be 75% of my pores. Moreover, it’s absolutely impossible that anything good will come of it.
Oh well. Guess I’ll have my butler, Montgomery, drive me down to hospital to see what the hell is going on here. Of course, that means my Friday night plan of eating an entire grilled cow before performing debauched coitus with two call girls is shot to hell, but sometimes one must do what one must do.
I’ll let you know how it turns out tomorrow. Don’t wait up.