Hot damn, I just overheard a couple of my employees discussing the fact that season 3 of HBO’s Game of Thrones debuts on March 31. Frankly, I can’t wait.
Surprised that I watch such fantastical fare, are you? Well then you’re an idiot, because this program is very solidly in my wheelhouse thanks to such sterling qualities as:
- Bad things happening to good people all the time;
- Horrible people moving up and getting rich;
- No middle class to speak of — everyone’s either wealthy, impoverished, or dead;
- Joffrey, who reminds me of myself when I was a lad;
- A metric shit-ton of ultraviolence; and perhaps most importantly
- Beautiful, naked boobies as far as the eye can see.
To prepare for the show’s return, I even whipped up my own GoT-style crest and motto courtesy of this heraldry generator. Feel free to make your own, but understand it will never be as awe-inspiring as mine. Beware the wild boar!