I Have ‘Game of Thrones’ Fever

Hot damn, I just overheard a couple of my employees discussing the fact that season 3 of HBO’s Game of Thrones debuts on March 31. Frankly, I can’t wait.

Surprised that I watch such fantastical fare, are you? Well then you’re an idiot, because this program is very solidly in my wheelhouse thanks to such sterling qualities as:

  • Bad things happening to good people all the time;
  • Horrible people moving up and getting rich;
  • No middle class to speak of — everyone’s either wealthy, impoverished, or dead;
  • Joffrey, who reminds me of myself when I was a lad;
  • A metric shit-ton of ultraviolence; and perhaps most importantly
  • Beautiful, naked boobies as far as the eye can see.

To prepare for the show’s return, I even whipped up my own GoT-style crest and motto courtesy of this heraldry generator. Feel free to make your own, but understand it will never be as awe-inspiring as mine. Beware the wild boar!

House Carver

The crest and motto of House Carver of Westeros.

Categories: Culture

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5 replies

  1. Eat The Rich!

    • I can’t speak for all rich people, but to paraphrase the Greatjon, you’ll find this rich fat bastard’s meat to be bloody tough!

      • Hmm… better get out the barbeque then.
        You like Texan style?

      • Ya can’t be rich, sir, you work for a livin’. 😉

      • I assure you, venture capitalism isn’t “working” for a living — it’s a glorious adventure involving the crushing of other people’s dreams and absorption of their fortunes. In the words of the Cobra Kai dojo, “No mercy!”

        But to answer your question, I’m not much for Texan-style BBQ. Please make it Memphis style. Thanks!

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