This New Pope Is Even Lamer Than The Last One

SSDP. Not a week has gone by since the new pope got elected, and he’s already out there using populist sentiment to stir up sympathy for the poor and the weak. Pathetic.

Moreover, it’s redundant. After all, there isn’t an impoverished man, woman, or child on earth who isn’t weak in some way, be it physically, mentally, bad genetics, poor life choices, laziness, or just lacking the dumb luck to be born wealthy like I was. Whatever their specific sob stories might be, weakness and poverty go hand in hand.

Another thing that galls me about this pope — he’s bragging about 150-200k people catching his gig today. Unimpressive. By comparison, perhaps you’ve heard of a little band called AC/DC? If not, you’ve wasted your life, but either way you should know that they, in conjunction with some johnnys-come-lately called Metallica and Pantera, rocked an audience estimated between 150-500k at Russia’s Tushino airfield back in ’91. Now that’s drawing power.

So the pope can keep his sad coalition of the crippled, poor, and stupid; I’ll be riding proudly with the driver on the Highway to Hell. Ciao.

Categories: Culture, Idiots

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