A Is For Ambush

A Is For Ambush

Is For Ambush

My vice president of marketing Sherm Schweinbumser entered his office and flicked on the light, never noticing that I was standing adjacent to the door with my back to the wall. He made a beeline for his desk and as he turned to sit, I shot forward with my right fist raised.

“Ah-ha!” I yelled.

“Holy smokes!” he said, eyes all but jumping from their sockets. He missed the chair by a good inch, and his teeth snapped together loudly as he plopped to the ground.

“Didn’t expect an ambush, did you Schweinbumser?”

“No I did not,” he said, rising to one knee. “What the — what are you doing here, boss?”

“What I’m doing here isn’t the question, you goldbricker! It’s what you’re doing here — fifteen minutes after you were supposed to be back from lunch!”

“Am I late?” He gave his watch a troubled look. “Are you sure? I could’ve sworn I was only gone an hour.”

“Of course I’m sure!” I said while exiting the room. “Don’t let it happen again!”

I slammed the door behind me, leaving Schweinbumser to ponder the error of his ways. Though in fairness, he wasn’t actually late. In fact, I’d stepped into his office to see if he had any revealing photos of his wife laying around, only to be nearly caught in the act on account of his eerily robotic punctuality. Seriously, what kind of white collar executive only takes an hour for lunch?

So yes, the ambush was just a ruse — but a damn fine one if I do say so myself. OZ-1 out.

[Part 1 of the ‘Blogging From A to Z April Challenge 2013’ series: Prev/Next]

Categories: Business, Idiots

Tags: , , ,

4 replies

  1. Ha! Your central character does not seem like a very nice person! I look forward to reading some more. Best regards to you… Ruby

    • I assure you I’m not a very nice person, Ruby, so your instincts are spot on. However, people tell me that my site administrator Shelton is generally pleasant — for all the good it’s done him. Anyhow, thanks for reading.

  2. Yes, a damn fine ruse indeed. What a fun story. Now I am looking forward to B. I am a new subscriber.

    Rhonda @Laugh-Quotes.com
    AtoZ #42

    • Thank you as well, Rhonda. I’ll be sure to check out your blog later today. But first, I have some venture capitalism issues to take care of — onward and upward.

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