If you’re like me, there’s only one Democrat who instills more blind hatred, disgust, and loathing in you than Chairman Hussein Marx Obama Tse-Tung, and its name is Hillary Rodham Clinton. Wait, strike that. I suppose Obama wins that contest too. What’s more, he managed to do it without cheating, unlike his two presidential campaigns. But that’s not the point.
The point is, brilliant political guru Karl Rove’s American Crossroads organization has kicked off the 2016 election season in fine style, as seen in this high-gloss attack ad they released a few days ago. To be perfectly honest, watching this beauty was like gobbling a fistful of Viagra — even with Hillary’s hideous face constantly filling the screen. (Here’s hoping The Architect doesn’t start producing gay porn, because frankly this ad was sexually confusing enough in and of itself.)
Sure, some people — specifically members of the liberal drive-by gotcha elitist communism-loving America-hating media — are saying it’s too soon. True Americans like you and me, on the other hand, know that it’s never too soon to kick Hillary. Hell, I’d be fine with a new Hillary attack ad every few weeks, regardless of whether she ever runs for office again. Nature may abhor a vacuum, but not nearly as much as I abhor nature wasting a vagina on an ugly woman.
Speaking of which, I’m cutting out of work early to hit up my favorite strip club, where ugly women aren’t welcome and vaginas are never wasted. Here’s the attack video in all of its Call of Duty visual glory; try not to work too hard down at the diaper plant or whatever it is you 99 percenters do to make a living. Ciao.