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The founder and CEO of Carver Consolidated Capital (C3), Oswald “Oz” Jameson Carver III is a heavily in-demand political and business guru, one-man conservative think tank, and culture warrior who frequently sounds off on various social issues of the day.

Moreover, Mr. Carver’s famous naked massages are always available at no cost to his female admirers. Provided, of course, they aren’t ugly. No fat chicks either.