Author Archives
The founder and CEO of Carver Consolidated Capital (C3), Oswald “Oz” Jameson Carver III is a heavily in-demand political and business guru, one-man conservative think tank, and culture warrior who frequently sounds off on various social issues of the day.
Moreover, Mr. Carver’s famous naked massages are always available at no cost to his female admirers. Provided, of course, they aren’t ugly. No fat chicks either.
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You Cannot Exceed My Need For Jerry Reed
Seriously, you can’t. Reed — or, as I like to call him, The Pabst Blue Ribbon Of American Music — is hands down the single most overlooked, underrated musical genius to bridge the 20th and 21st centuries. Think his story… Read More ›
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Formula For Happiness
Me + Saturday Night + 5 Vietnamese Whores = A very relaxed Sunday morning. As soon as I get all these whores out of here, that is.
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Christians Can Go To Hell
That was a bad move on the part of the local Jesus Freak outfit. I hadn’t been home ten minutes when two of them showed up on my front porch, ringing the bell like nobody’s business. “Who sent you?” I… Read More ›
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Homeless People Are Filthy, Disgusting
OK. I was walking down the street earlier today, enjoying a cruller and minding my own business when this dirty, smelly bum cut in front of me. “Hey buddy,” he said. “Y’got anah spare change?” “Hell no,” I said. Which… Read More ›
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I’m Glad I’m Not A Bald Chick
Here’s the thing. I’m at work today — a highly classified line of work, might I add — when this older broad gets on the elevator. And by older, I mean much older. A real mummy, you know? And the topper? Bald. That’s… Read More ›
