Drugs

Pull The Strings

“Red hots! GET YOUR RED HOTS!!!“ That was the sound of me in action, bringing all my marketing prowess to bear in the name of selling hot dogs, peanuts, sodas, and beer to the literally unwashed masses. No need to… Read More ›

I’m Back In The Game

The marketing game, that is. Granted, I’m marketing hot dogs and beers these days instead of billion dollar product launches from multinational conglomerates, but it’s good to have my foot back in the door nonetheless. In fact, I’m at work… Read More ›

A Day At The Races

“And it’s Hairy Dumplings by a nose!” the announcer screamed over the PA down at the local race track. “Hairy Dumplings wins it by a nose!” “Goddammit!” I shouted before lunging towards my associate, Skynyrd Dave, and clocking him in… Read More ›

Quick Updates

In case you hadn’t noticed, we’re thick in the dog days of summer. Which means it’s a great time of year for me to relax poolside in a Speedo, frolic on my private yacht, and eat enough charred animal flesh… Read More ›