All right, I’ll admit it: I like to romp in Vegas. Who doesn’t? You’d be crazy not to, what with the non-stop gambling, drinking, eating, puking and more drinking & eating. And whores. And, yes, Vegas’ “anything goes” attitude is… Read More ›
Politics
I Love Me Some Abraham Lincoln
Seriously though, has there ever been a cooler President? Reunited the country by force, stood taller than Shaq, sported that crazy Dr. Zaius beard, wrote the Gettysburg Address — my man was a stone cold thriller, through and through. Plus,… Read More ›
There Goes The Neighborhood
Can you believe this? A goddamn middle class family moved in down the street. Middle class! They inherited the house from Yule Umlaut, who made his fortune in steel. Having no heirs, Yule deeded the majority of his estate to… Read More ›
Al Gore Doesn’t Know The Score
What is this nonsense? This “Al Gore has a new movie about his environmental slideshow presentation, and everyone’s getting all excited about it” business, hmm? We’re talking about the same Al Gore, right? Tall guy? Looks kind of like a… Read More ›
Hands Off My Mexicans
I tell you. As a lifelong Republican and former Nixon Youth, I never imagined I’d find myself cursing out a G.O.P. President. Yet I found myself doing just that as George “Shit-Eyes” Bush addressed the nation tonight. “In Washington, the… Read More ›
Come Back CCCP, I Miss You
Remember the Soviet Union? That cool hammer-and-sickle flag? And the uniforms? Not to mention their nuclear capabilities. That’s what I call an appropriate enemy for the good ol’ U.S. of A. Not like these goddamn Islamic terrorists. Just a bunch of… Read More ›
