Recent Posts - page 2
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I Say Bring On The Ebola Plague
Greetings, Proud Americans. Oz here, and though I’m currently entertaining a bushel of women from Pete’s Pussycat Emporium and therefore have very little time to chat — no, scratch that. The fact is, I simply don’t like chatting with you people, regardless… Read More ›
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Farewell To A Lunatic
Ah, nice of you to stop by. Be warned, though, that you’ve caught me in the master bath, where I’m currently giving birth to a particularly onerous bowl movement while perusing the morning news reports. What can I say? I… Read More ›
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Time To Protect The Copyright For Another Year
Greetings, fellow patriots. I realize it’s been awhile since I last took to my soapbox to pummel you with my high-powered brand of truth, justice and the American Way, but that’s no skin off my ass. In case you’ve forgotten,… Read More ›
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That’s Bad News For America But Great News For My Predilection For Cuckoldry
I was seated at the dining table this morning, enjoying a meager repast of rum-drenched French toast, a rasher of bacon, two dozen eggs, and a pitcher of Bloody Marys, when I came across a rather shocking bit of news… Read More ›
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Apparently I Was Down With The Clowns
I awoke this morning in a damp, musty basement that reeked of incense, stale sweat, moldy pizza, soiled underpants, cat litter, marijuana, and despair. My head was throbbing, my skin felt like burned ice, and the most horrible hip hop… Read More ›
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Hot Damn, The 2016 Election Season Is Already Underway
If you’re like me, there’s only one Democrat who instills more blind hatred, disgust, and loathing in you than Chairman Hussein Marx Obama Tse-Tung, and its name is Hillary Rodham Clinton. Wait, strike that. I suppose Obama wins that contest… Read More ›
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Take That Stephen Colbert
Let’s face it: I hate a lot of things. The poor and the middle class. Chairman Hussein Marx Obama Tse-Tung. People who major in anything other than business while they’re in college. iPhones. Foreign cars. Foreigners in general. Gluten-free diets…. Read More ›
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Truth Be Told, I’m Sick Of Reason Too
Hi folks. Oz here, reporting live from my Caesar-esque bathroom, where I’m working my way through what has so far been a quadruple flusher with no clear end in sight. (The pun was unintended, but I’ll let it stand.) To… Read More ›
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Always Happy To Help The Tea Party
Good evening, fellow Americans. I’m essentially in recovery mode following the horrific events with which I was afflicted in April, but I wanted to fill you in on a big development. Turns out the stalwart leaders of the Tea Party… Read More ›
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Thank Nixon That’s Over
And by “that” I mean one of the most trying months I’ve ever experienced, not the concurrent “Blogging From A to Z April Challenge 2013.” That went swimmingly, and though I’ve been unable to track down any details regarding winners… Read More ›
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Z Is For Zamboni
My vice president of marketing Sherm Schweinbumser entered his home with his dog and flicked off the porch light, never noticing that I was seated on a parked Zamboni in the woods across from the residence. As his house went… Read More ›
