First and foremost, please understand that I view the editorial “talent” at French jack-off mag Charlie Hebdo to be no better than the homegrown leftist dopeheads you’ll find panhandling on any given street here in the U.S. Nevertheless, nobody deserves… Read More ›
Ah, nice of you to stop by. Be warned, though, that you’ve caught me in the master bath, where I’m currently giving birth to a particularly onerous bowl movement while perusing the morning news reports. What can I say? I… Read More ›
Hi folks. Oz here, reporting live from my Caesar-esque bathroom, where I’m working my way through what has so far been a quadruple flusher with no clear end in sight. (The pun was unintended, but I’ll let it stand.) To… Read More ›
“Alright everyone, cover your ears!” I shouted, my voice amplified by a high-powered bullhorn. “This is going to be loud!” I touched the torch to the cannon’s wick and was soon rewarded with a thunderous explosion. The cannonball rocketed toward… Read More ›
I pounded the intercom’s “talk” button and barked at the device. “Montgomery! Mont-gom-er-y!” There was an extended pause before my layabout butler answered. “Pip pip, guv’nor! How may I be of service?” “The master bathroom is out of toilet paper…. Read More ›
Hot damn, the upstanding, patriotic members of the U.S. House passed steely eyed wunderkind Paul Ryan’s budget today. Which is great in and of itself, but let’s face it: Unless Comrade Hussein Marx Obama Tse-Tung and his stooges in the… Read More ›
“For East Egg!” I bellowed, my homeland’s battle cry echoing off the walls of the dank and dusty back alley where I was engaged in a game of dice with three rather disreputable-looking gentlemen. I threw with gusto and rolled my… Read More ›
I was enjoying my traditional king-sized breakfast and perusing the Journal this morning when I came across a feature on the upcoming Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), which is set to start tomorrow. What really threw me off is that… Read More ›
I received a call from failed Republican presidential candidate and former Libtardchusetts governor Mitt Romney earlier today, asking me to meet him in the city for a late lunch at Gramercy Tavern. Said he wanted my advice on his recent return to… Read More ›
Here’s the thing: I have no idea where I’ve been for the past week. I could’ve been drinking tea with the reigning Ayatollah of Iran for all I know. The one thing I do know is that not 10 minutes… Read More ›
It’ll soon be Friday night, and thanks to a visit to Paul Stuart earlier today, I am ready to do this thing proper. Don’t ask me how much this outfit cost, either. As soon as the question was out of your… Read More ›
