Sure, lots of females love my Cleveland Steamers. Some particularly disturbed members of the fairer sex even swear by my Moscow Dump Trucks. But no “woman” as ugly, mannish, and… and… liberal as Hillary Rodham Clinton will ever know the… Read More ›
Cleveland Steamers
1,461 Days Of Deviant Communist Hell To Go
So anyhow, this happened — another strong contender for the darkest day in American history. At least until Comrade Hussein Marx Obama Tse-Tung inevitably socializes all private industry, surrenders our nuclear codes to the Red Chinese, and uses the Constitution to… Read More ›
S. Truett Cathy Is A Seriously Deranged Individual
I had to go into the city on business yesterday — legitimate venture capitalism business, thank you — and decided to grab lunch at the Metropolitan Club. Not to brag, but I’m a legacy member. In fact, my maternal great-grandfather, Tobias… Read More ›
My Son Is An Idiot
“Montgomery?” I said to my butler shortly after returning from work this afternoon. “Why is there a hirsute Asian lad reading Jughead comic books at the dining room table?” “Wot wot?” Montgomery replied, sticking his head out from the pantry…. Read More ›
If My Heart Stops Beating, Kick Me In The Chest
Hot damn. I just pulled away from the drive-thru of my local KFC with a dozen of their new Double Down sandwiches in my possession. A normal person would probably share this magnificent bounty with others. But I’m morbidly obese,… Read More ›
I Suppose This Means A Cleveland Steamer Is Out Of The Question, Too
Women: can’t live with ’em, can’t kill ’em. Take Nurse Lola, the vixen assigned to my care while I’m laid up at Uecker Memorial Hospital. “Look, honey, as long as you’re down there,” I said during my most recent sponge bath,… Read More ›
