Congratulations To Jeff Bridges

Transcript of phone call placed on March 8, 2010 at 3:47 a.m. PT to the private residence of overrated actor George Clooney: [Repeated ringing.] George Clooney: Yeah. Who… Unidentified Caller: CLOOOOOOOOOONEY! GC: What? Who is this? UC: CLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONEY! GC: Seriously…. Read More ›

I Think I Got Rolled

“You so much as jiggle yer belly and I’m-a squeezing this trigger, fatboy! Y’hear me?” This was said by a wart-and-hair-covered hillbilly who appeared to be brandishing a shotgun. I couldn’t be sure though; I had just awoken and could… Read More ›

Friday Night Cockfights

Looks like a promising Friday night. My head gardener, Luis, is hosting the area’s annual cockfighting championships in his backyard this evening, and he graciously extended an invitation to me. Given my longstanding love affair with the Sport of Kings,… Read More ›