A Day At The Races

“And it’s Hairy Dumplings by a nose!” the announcer screamed over the PA down at the local race track. “Hairy Dumplings wins it by a nose!” “Goddammit!” I shouted before lunging towards my associate, Skynyrd Dave, and clocking him in… Read More ›

My Son Is An Idiot

“Montgomery?” I said to my butler shortly after returning from work this afternoon. “Why is there a hirsute Asian lad reading Jughead comic books at the dining room table?” “Wot wot?” Montgomery replied, sticking his head out from the pantry…. Read More ›

Quick Updates

In case you hadn’t noticed, we’re thick in the dog days of summer. Which means it’s a great time of year for me to relax poolside in a Speedo, frolic on my private yacht, and eat enough charred animal flesh… Read More ›