It was kind of a wild weekend for me—nothing too outrageous mind you, just the usual call girls and Oxy rails—so I must sheepishly admit that I wasn’t up to speed on some of President Trump’s latest moves until I… Read More ›
Food
The Trump Train Keeps A Rollin’
I feel like such a fool. Here I thought, after the blizzard of executive-branch activity since Monday, that today might be a slow news day. My bad; I guess I forgot that President Trump only has one speed: coked out… Read More ›
Farewell To A Lunatic
Ah, nice of you to stop by. Be warned, though, that you’ve caught me in the master bath, where I’m currently giving birth to a particularly onerous bowl movement while perusing the morning news reports. What can I say? I… Read More ›
Time To Protect The Copyright For Another Year
Greetings, fellow patriots. I realize it’s been awhile since I last took to my soapbox to pummel you with my high-powered brand of truth, justice and the American Way, but that’s no skin off my ass. In case you’ve forgotten,… Read More ›
That’s Bad News For America But Great News For My Predilection For Cuckoldry
I was seated at the dining table this morning, enjoying a meager repast of rum-drenched French toast, a rasher of bacon, two dozen eggs, and a pitcher of Bloody Marys, when I came across a rather shocking bit of news… Read More ›
W Is For What
I decided to do a little snooping around the office yesterday — you know, see what kind of dirt I could dig up on my employees — and found myself in the main break room shortly after eleven o’clock. No one else… Read More ›
T Is For Tea
I won’t lie to you; I’ve been busier than an Obama-era food stamp office during the past few weeks. In addition to the still-ongoing “Blogging From A to Z April Challenge,” I’ve encountered a slew of recent personal and professional… Read More ›
R Is For Rush
I’d been sitting by the phone with naught but a pitcher of Old Fashioneds, a tray of hoagies, and the third season of Downton Abbey for company, waiting on an important call from my close, personal friend Rush Limbaugh. He’d expressed… Read More ›
G Is For Golf
“Fore!” I shouted as the wood smacked the ball, blasting it a good 250 yards down the middle of the fairway. I won’t lie to you; it was a perfect shot and all but guaranteed that I’d finish the hole… Read More ›
F Is For Frankfurter
I pulled up to the hot dog stand and hopped out of my Escalade, eager to dine on the delicacies offered by the roadside vendor. “Hello there, my good man!” I said, stumbling toward him. “I’m in desperate need of… Read More ›
D Is For Druggist
I’d been waiting around the parking lot of a local McDonald’s for a good fifteen minutes when my black-market prescription-medication procurer Skynyrd Dave finally arrived. He was driving a bright-yellow ‘70s-era Camaro with severe muffler issues, Nazareth’s “Hair of the… Read More ›