D Is For Druggist

I’d been waiting around the parking lot of a local McDonald’s for a good fifteen minutes when my black-market prescription-medication procurer Skynyrd Dave finally arrived. He was driving a bright-yellow ‘70s-era Camaro with severe muffler issues, Nazareth’s “Hair of the… Read More ›

Pie Is Delicious

So delicious, in fact, that I just ate three of them in one go. All Boston Cream, of course. Anything less is for amateurs. Except for fruit-based pies, which are for hippie amateurs. Anyhow, the point of all this is,… Read More ›

Fire It Up

The grill, that is. I just sent the maid to Piggly Wiggly for a score of their finest New York strip steaks, and I don’t plan on sleeping ’til at least half of them are resting in my belly. Comfortably… Read More ›

I’ve Got The Fear

I think I just swallowed a chicken bone. Like, an entire chicken bone. The whole thing. I’m no doctor, but I’m pretty sure that’ll kill you. Or maybe that’s dogs I’m thinking about. Meaning, dogs swallowing chicken bones. Not people… Read More ›