This Won’t Do

“Great scott!” I gasped upon seeing my houseboy, Kang, sprawled on the living room sofa this morning. He was eating a bag of Doritos and watching Hannah Montana, with a dozen empty cans of Colt 45 and an overflowing, cigarette… Read More ›

I’m In Oxy Heaven

Yeah, so I’m out of the hospital. But I’ll be wearing an ass-splint for the next month, plus one of those conical plastic collars given to dogs after surgery. I’m getting a second opinion on the latter, though; Nurse Lola‘s the one… Read More ›

I Broke My Ass

Okay, that was a mistake. Doc Steinbrau’s been on me for months about getting into shape. Says a third heart attack is inevitable if I don’t change my diet and start exercising. Given that the former’s out of the question,… Read More ›