White noise filled the room; the kind of staticky, dull roar emitted by a television or radio that’s stuck between channels. I briefly wondered about the source, but my sleep-encrusted eyes weren’t quite up to the challenge of any serious… Read More ›
May all your zombie-savior candy dreams come true. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to chaperone a sexy egg hunt for six call girls wearing classic Playboy Bunny costumes. Ta ta.
I was seeing to some correspondence in the study last night when my butler Montgomery arrived with the tray of ribs and pitcher of Old Fashioneds I’d requested. “Ah, perfect timing,” I said. “Place them on the desk here — I… Read More ›
I’m finally back at my palatial estate following a rather harrowing, utterly unproductive weekend at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), and I couldn’t be happier to be home. That said, National Harbor, Maryland did have one last surprise for… Read More ›