Against my better judgment, I called my mother earlier today. You know, for Mother’s Day. It went about as well as it does on any given year. “Hello, mother,” I said to start the conversation. “Maybe,” she said. “Depends on… Read More ›
Mother’s Day
Insufferability, Thy Name Is Mother
I just returned home a few hours ago following yesterday’s exciting trip to the Kentucky Derby, and hadn’t been relaxing by the pool more than 10 minutes when my cellphone rang. “Yes?” I said, with no small amount of trepidation…. Read More ›
Is It Really Almost That Time Of Year Again?
As if the ongoing distress of my personal secretary, Miss Cashtushy, being in Las Vegas for the week wasn’t bad enough, I received a dire call from my younger brother Roderick this afternoon. Turns out that my least favorite holiday… Read More ›
When Will That Woman Die?
“Hello, mother.” “Mother? My mother’s dead. And a woman. Look, who is this?” “It’s your son. Oswald.” “Who?” “Oswald. Oswald Carver. Your son.” “Oh, Oswald. What do you want?” “It… it’s Mother’s Day, mother. Just wanted to call to wish… Read More ›
