Happy Friday, slobs. Yes, yes, I realize I haven’t posted for a bit, but there’s a reason for that. Reason being, I’m living in Trump’s America as an obscenely wealthy Caucasian male with the right connections, which means anything resembling… Read More ›
Motivation
Is This Really Happening Or Have I Died And Inexplicably Gone To Heaven?
Hey there, losers. Long time no enlighten you with my wisdom, huh? Well, there’s a reason for that—specifically, that I spent the past year-plus of Obama’s presidency sedating myself with fine opiates and nasty women. Not the Hillary Clinton variety… Read More ›
Time To Protect The Copyright For Another Year
Greetings, fellow patriots. I realize it’s been awhile since I last took to my soapbox to pummel you with my high-powered brand of truth, justice and the American Way, but that’s no skin off my ass. In case you’ve forgotten,… Read More ›
T Is For Tea
I won’t lie to you; I’ve been busier than an Obama-era food stamp office during the past few weeks. In addition to the still-ongoing “Blogging From A to Z April Challenge,” I’ve encountered a slew of recent personal and professional… Read More ›
This Kincannon Fellow Is My Kind Of Conservative
Hope your day is going well folks, but bear in mind that I’m never sincere about such pleasantries. What I am sincere about, though, is my newfound admiration for a leading conservative light who was off my radar until this… Read More ›
A Conversation With A Personal Hero
As you’ve doubtlessly heard by now, my close friend, personal hero, and fellow conservative commentator Rush Limbaugh has once again landed himself in a tasty, albeit hot pot of stew due to his unabashedly correct views on women. This time,… Read More ›
Let’s Hope The Obstructionists In The White House And Senate Don’t Block Progress Again This Time
Hot damn, the upstanding, patriotic members of the U.S. House passed steely eyed wunderkind Paul Ryan’s budget today. Which is great in and of itself, but let’s face it: Unless Comrade Hussein Marx Obama Tse-Tung and his stooges in the… Read More ›
So Anyhow I’m Running For Pope
Proving that I don’t solely use the Internet to watch filthy movies, today I discovered that literally anyone can be elected Pope* — no previous applicable experience required. So before Chairman Hussein Marx Obama Tse-Tung moves to capitalize on that loophole… Read More ›
Another Blow For Freedom Against The Liberal Drive-By Gotcha Lamestream Media
Ah, you’ve arrived — glad you could make it. Help yourself to the brandy and grab a seat; we have important matters to discuss. You see, Beef Products Inc. (BPI) — a company with a quintessentially patriotic name — has launched a brave legal… Read More ›
I Won’t Lie, It’s Great To Be The One Percent
Carver Consolidated Capital (C3) employs an exact total of 100 people, including me, and once a month I like to treat everyone to lunch. Sometimes it’s pizza, sometimes it’s Mexican, sometimes it’s subs. Today I decided to splurge for steak,… Read More ›
Big Pimping
It’ll soon be Friday night, and thanks to a visit to Paul Stuart earlier today, I am ready to do this thing proper. Don’t ask me how much this outfit cost, either. As soon as the question was out of your… Read More ›