You know who else offered universal health care for every Tom, Dick and Harry without a penny to their name? Nazi Germany. Seig Heil!
Politics
They Turned Me Loose
I’m pleased to report that I’m finally back at my palatial estate following a very harrowing weekend at sea. However, my attorneys have asked me to avoid discussing any new criminal charges which may or may not have been filed against… Read More ›
I’ve Started A Facebook Fan Page
Not for myself — I’m not a megalomaniac, after all. Regardless of what Harry Fagina over in Human Resources might say. No, I’ve started one in support of some American icons that have been much-maligned as of late: school textbooks… Read More ›
Homeward Bound
My adventures in the putrid hellhole known as Arizona have come to an end. It turns out that Senator McCain was none too pleased with last night’s speech, and ordered his staff to put me on the first plane out… Read More ›
Speech Transcript, 3-12-10
The following speech was given by conservative pundit Oswald J. Carver III at the Phoenix, AZ Walmart Super Center the evening of March 12, 2010, ostensibly in support of Republican Senator John McCain. It is believed that the speaker in… Read More ›
The Senator Has Flipped His Lid
I just finished meeting with Arizona Senator John McCain to discuss my planned stump speeches on his behalf this weekend, and the man gave me a serious case of the heebie jeebies. I hate to say it, but I think… Read More ›
Arizona Is An Endless Burning Desert
Great Nixon’s Ghost, I never should have agreed to help John McCain with his Senate reelection bid. I just arrived in Arizona 30 minutes ago, and though it’s only 6:45 a.m. local time, it’s already hotter than the deepest pits… Read More ›
This Pundit For Hire
The very fact that you’re reading this blog is a strong indicator that you’re well-versed in current events. I’m not the type of person who appeals to morons, after all. Nor to whiny liberals, but that’s redundant. And I don’t… Read More ›
I’m Not A Millennium Man
That pack of commies over at the Pew Research Center has some new poll that’s supposed to gauge how “Millennial” you are. Meaning, how much you have in common with the up-and-coming generation of slackers and dope fiends. I’m rather… Read More ›
Health Care Isn’t For The Lazy
“Mistah Boss! Mistah Boss!” This was my houseboy, Kang, but I was in no mood for his shenanigans. Not with the big Steinkenblaut presentation coming up later this afternoon. “Goddammit Kang,” I said, eyes fastened to my morning paper. “How… Read More ›
Happy Valentine’s Day To Me
Hot damn. Looks like my Valentine’s Day dreams are going to come true, thanks to the top-notch management staff down at Pete’s Poontang Emporium. First, a bit of background. Like most red-blooded G.O.P. males, I have an immense, boner-popping crush… Read More ›
