Hi folks. Oz here, reporting live from my Caesar-esque bathroom, where I’m working my way through what has so far been a quadruple flusher with no clear end in sight. (The pun was unintended, but I’ll let it stand.) To… Read More ›
May all your zombie-savior candy dreams come true. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to chaperone a sexy egg hunt for six call girls wearing classic Playboy Bunny costumes. Ta ta.
Transcript of phone call placed on March 14, 2013 at 3:47 a.m. local time to the Vatican residence of the overrated new Pope, Francis I: [Repeated ringing.] Pope Francis: Hola! Usted está hablando con el Papa. Unidentified Caller: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE! PF:… Read More ›
Proving that I don’t solely use the Internet to watch filthy movies, today I discovered that literally anyone can be elected Pope* — no previous applicable experience required. So before Chairman Hussein Marx Obama Tse-Tung moves to capitalize on that loophole… Read More ›
Well, there’s a considerable amount of egg on my face today — and absolutely zero cloth on my ass. The reason? Let’s just say my longstanding devotion to OxyContin hasn’t done any wonders for my hearing. You see, when I… Read More ›