And he has a fantastic pair of tits. Now it all makes sense… Yes, I think you’re right — it is time for another OxyContin. Ask for it by name.
Religion
March Fan Mail
This won’t come as a surprise to those who follow the Nielsen Blog Ratings, but my little soapbox here has been a smash hit since it returned in February. The upside is, tons of topless pictures from admiring female followers…. Read More ›
I’m Off To Saudi Arabia
Business, unfortunately, not pleasure. Not that it’ll keep me from enjoying a dark-eyed belly-dancer or three while I’m there. Don’t expect to hear from me again until Monday. If you’re Christian and plan on worshipping a zombie savior on Sunday,… Read More ›
Speech Transcript, 3-12-10
The following speech was given by conservative pundit Oswald J. Carver III at the Phoenix, AZ Walmart Super Center the evening of March 12, 2010, ostensibly in support of Republican Senator John McCain. It is believed that the speaker in… Read More ›
This Pundit For Hire
The very fact that you’re reading this blog is a strong indicator that you’re well-versed in current events. I’m not the type of person who appeals to morons, after all. Nor to whiny liberals, but that’s redundant. And I don’t… Read More ›
I’m Not A Millennium Man
That pack of commies over at the Pew Research Center has some new poll that’s supposed to gauge how “Millennial” you are. Meaning, how much you have in common with the up-and-coming generation of slackers and dope fiends. I’m rather… Read More ›
I Didn’t Give At The Office, Either
I was enjoying an after-work cocktail in the den when my houseboy burst into the room. He made the usual hissing and spitting sounds that pass for language amongst his people, waving crazily at the phone on my desk. “What?”… Read More ›
I Like My Sabbath Like I Like My Coffee
The day started in one godawful manner. I was sleeping comfortably in my luxurious king-sized bed when my slumber was interrupted by the unmistakable sound of a lawnmower. I tossed and turned a bit, but to no avail. Glancing at… Read More ›
They Don’t Call It Good Friday For Nothing
Or as I like to call it, The Day They Killed Jesus. But not before they whipped him to within an inch of his life, slapped a crown of thorns on his head, and made him march uphill carrying a… Read More ›
Stop Snitching
Right. So I was looking at some online porn at work today, just like I always do after lunch. That’s when I heard someone gasp behind me. “Oh my god!” This was Gus the Copyboy, who promptly dropped the stack… Read More ›
Christians Can Go To Hell
That was a bad move on the part of the local Jesus Freak outfit. I hadn’t been home ten minutes when two of them showed up on my front porch, ringing the bell like nobody’s business. “Who sent you?” I… Read More ›
