Lucky me: it’s “Bring Your Children to Work Day” at Luddite, Crapstone & Fuchs. Which means the office was crawling with an army of unsocialized, disease-infested midgets when I stumbled through the front door at a little before 10 this morning…. Read More ›
Strip Clubs
Hell Hath No Fury Like A Booty Call Scorned
An old friend of mine was in town last night. You’d recognize his name were I gauche enough to reveal it, but I’ll simply refer to him as the Carnival Tycoon so as to protect his identity. At any rate,… Read More ›
Roll Them Bones
Hot damn — I just made a cool grand shooting dice against some shipping department flunkies down in Luddite, Crapstone & Fuchs’ basement. The best part is how the shipping supervisor, “Big” Henry Duboise, cried like a woman after $400… Read More ›
It Takes Money To Make Money
Since when did the phrase fiscal responsibility become synonymous with tightfisted cheapness? I’m referring, of course, to the recent “revelation” that the Republican National Committee is A) serious about winning elections and B) not run by a bunch of Amish… Read More ›
All The Rich Dudes
“I’ll tell you, I don’t think the G.O.P. has let me down this badly since they ran Dole back in ’96. What a useless old fossil he was.” This was Charles “Chuck” Luddite XV, CEO of Luddite, Crapstone & Fuchs…. Read More ›
George Clooney’s On My List
What is it with this George Clooney character, anyhow? Why do the ladies go gaga crazy* for him? And how does he manage to afford such a jet-setting lifestyle when the only things on his resume appear to be a… Read More ›
Bingo
Holy shit. My scratch-off ticket — it’s a winner. For a cool 10 grand no less. The ironic thing is I’m already worth millions, so this means nothing to me. I bet a lot of you readers could really use… Read More ›
