Writing

G Is For Golf

“Fore!” I shouted as the wood smacked the ball, blasting it a good 250 yards down the middle of the fairway. I won’t lie to you; it was a perfect shot and all but guaranteed that I’d finish the hole… Read More ›

E Is For Easy

“Once everything’s settled,” said my vice president of acquisitions Bob Laudermilk, “it looks like we’ll clear a good twenty million, maybe more, off this Oglethorpe Sporting Goods deal.” We were in my office at Carver Consolidated Capital (C3), dotting the… Read More ›

D Is For Druggist

I’d been waiting around the parking lot of a local McDonald’s for a good fifteen minutes when my black-market prescription-medication procurer Skynyrd Dave finally arrived. He was driving a bright-yellow ‘70s-era Camaro with severe muffler issues, Nazareth’s “Hair of the… Read More ›

C Is For Cashtushy

“You really must admit — this is rich.” That was me to my former personal secretary Ms. Cashtushy. We were in the conference room at Carver Consolidated Capital (C3), discussing her résumé submission for the office manager position I’d recently advertised…. Read More ›

B Is For Butler

I pounded the intercom’s “talk” button and barked at the device. “Montgomery! Mont-gom-er-y!” There was an extended pause before my layabout butler answered. “Pip pip, guv’nor! How may I be of service?” “The master bathroom is out of toilet paper…. Read More ›

A Is For Ambush

My vice president of marketing Sherm Schweinbumser entered his office and flicked on the light, never noticing that I was standing adjacent to the door with my back to the wall. He made a beeline for his desk and as… Read More ›